Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Ready or Not

Hello blog readers, I'm writing to you poised on the brink of what I am sure will go down as two of the best months of my life.  (I definitely don't feel like I'm over-selling this.)

I'm writing, of course, about 

MUH.

TER.

NUH.

TEE.

LEEVE.

While our second son's debut may have fallen at quite possibly the most inconvenient time for Koby (as his football team is battling for a district championship placement and looking towards the playoffs AND his one true love [yeah, that would be deer season, not yours truly] opens in a few days), somehow, my six weeks of maternity leave will be miraculously stretched over a period of two months because of some well-placed holiday breaks.  Soooooo basically I won't be working from November 5 to January 7.  And I can't get fired for it.

If you are reading this real-time, then you know that I have posted in the afternoon on a work day (and if you are reading this real-time, I'm pretty jealous of your job) and you know that I am probably not posting this from work.  That is because I've taken today and the next two days off as I could probably go into active labor at any moment.  (And no, I definitely don't feel like I'm over-dramatizing this either.)

At my appointment this past Monday my doctor asked me my thoughts on scheduling another induction based on my progress so far and considering that we live about an hour and forty-five minutes from the hospital.  I think my exact words were "When can we do it?" and involved some clapping.  So we are all scheduled for a November 5th birthday, unless Hayes decides he prefers another one sooner.

And now we are playing the waiting game, and I'm trying not to time every contraction and to move as very little as possible.  I'm calling it some self-prescribed bed rest... that involves watching a one year old.  And still preparing the house for a new-born (more on that later).  For obvious reasons, Koby and I would really prefer NOT to have Hayes on the side of the highway in our car and so we're reasonably a little nervous about making it to the hospital in time, seeing as I'm already out of the 'early labor' stage and my dr. anticipates a much quicker labor this go around.  (As opposed to the 17-ish hours with Knox.)  So I'm selfishly asking for your prayers - prayers of thanksgiving that we aren't trying to prevent pre-term labor, that we aren't worried about getting to the hospital in the middle of a hurricane like so many parents on the East coast, and prayers that Hayes STAY PUT at least until Saturday, when we'll head to Abilene to stay for the weekend.

In other news, I'm preparing to be Mom times two, and it's already been an interesting mix of "I'm going to do so much better this time" and "Wow, I'm still really unprepared".  You know how people say that with each subsequent kid, their efforts to be 'perfect' parents seem to diminish (or at least become more realistic)?  Well, I kind of feel like the opposite of that parent, disregarding any notions of trying to be 'perfect'.  And the reason is because I am just 100% less ignorant a parent than I was the first time.  Maybe you're one of those girls who popped out of her own mom knowing instinctively how to care for a baby, and if you are, then feel free to laugh at me a lot, but I am not one of those females.  I am still convinced that I'm going to be a better mom to newborn Hayes, sheerly because I have a tiny inkling of knowing (sort of) what to do.

Example.  I breast-fed Knox for awhile, but by the time he was two months old he was already somewhat on a formula regimen and we were also traveling quite a bit and messing with his schedule, perks of being a coaching family.  I remember the awkward times at football games, as I tried in the blustering West Texas wind to measure and pour powdered formula into bottles while holding baby Knox, using the tin formula can I'd brought in my diaper bag and the teeny tiny scoop that comes with each container.  If you even remotely know what I'm talking about, you know how much of an idiot I am, especially considering that I think I did this for nearly the entire football season.

You see, I didn't know these existed.  

For about $6 I could have avoided being the T-Rex arm mommy at the football games, wasting money in the form of formula powder blowing all over the place.  It can be chalked up to nothing but ignorance in its purest form.  One of my friends and fellow teachers/coach's wife kept telling me that they ('they' meaning people who tried to mix bottles on the go once and decided people didn't have to live like this) made 'spinners' she used to carry in her diaper bag that helped her make the bottles at the games, but I kept privately thinking she was crazy.  ("I don't need someone to help me swirl the formula together, I need something to help me pour it in!"  She was, of course, referring to the spinning lid.  Once again, I'm an idiot.)

And so for Hayes, I won't be the mom who doesn't know about formula dispensers.  I also won't be the mom who doesn't know that feeding a one year old an entire box of raisins will give him diarrhea.  (Sorry, Knox.)  I mean, I understand that 'you live, you learn' and obviously, every mom is going to learn from her mistakes as a first-timer, but are every one else's so very elementary? I work in a nursery where two of the babies still taking formula are sons of first time mommies, and they knew about formula dispensers.  Is there a class I missed?

On the other hand, the other part of my brain that isn't all like "I totally (sort of) know what I'm doing now" keeps forgetting that we are essentially starting all over.  Seriously, if Koby hadn't reminded me that we had to put Knox's old carseat back in the car for Hayes to come home in, I may have forgotten. And then, it took me another whole day to remember to readjust the straps and to put in the tiny-baby attachment so he won't bobble around in there like a pinball.  Then, I packed all our bags a few days ago (finally) and surprisingly remembered outfits for Hayes to wear home, taking some from the 0-3 months clothes I've already set aside in bins in the nursery closet.  What I failed to remember is that Hayes would also be coming to live with us after leaving the hospital, so instead of putting all the 0-3 months clothes back in the bin, I should have put them in the dresser.  A mistake which I rectified today.  Am I doomed to be a first-timer twice???

Ah well.  I am so excited to meet Hayes.  I can't believe he's almost here and I am SO excited to welcome him into our family and for Knox to begin his role as big brother.  And I am so grateful that I get to have two whole months of maternity leave to soak up his newborn baby-ness - something I didn't even get with only-child Knox, as I went back to work four weeks after he was born.